Friday, December 23, 2011

A Season, All Over Again

This is the Christmas weekend. It's meaning has changed for myself and many other people over time. Many blame the consumeristic aspect of this culture. I beg to reason the selfishness that we all have. In-between all the noise of the season, I feel blessed. There's nothing really about the decorations, the flavors of food (albeit, they are quite delicious), or the lights that enthrall me. It's the implications of the season. The wanting to be with family, loved ones. I'm excited. I get to spend time with my family... my nieces and nephew. My father and mother-- my siblings and in-laws.

I'm guilty, at least I feel that way. My family is a big part of who I am. Although, I never feel as though faults of my father and mother overshadow the many decisions I make in my life. As I've made many mistakes before. I'm away from my family. I've also been quite busy with my own life. Living apart from them has made it more difficult to be mindful of them. I feel as though I've neglected them. I guess, I'm just much more aware now of that there's going to have to be better intentionality on my part in order to have a relationship with them.

I remember my relationships with them. I remember the times when my brother and I would have conversations that seemed that would never end. I remember the times he and I would play games, where it be chess, or some game on some gaming console. I remember the times with both of my sisters, feeling like a little kid, the little brother that they always protedted. I remember the arguments that each of us had and how that made somewhat grow closer to each other. I remembered being punished and loved alongside them by our parents. I remember my parents, as I was growing up. My father who was always playing around. My mother who was always up to something... something good. I've found many different parts of me emulating and imitating the things we've done and somewhat the people we've been.

So, I'm looking forward to this weekend. I'm looking forward to being with them. Speaking with them, finding out about how things have changed.

I'm writing this in such a flurry. As always... just hit "publish."

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