Friday, March 19, 2010

Missing Her

I'm looking at old pictures of her, from before we were dating, from before I liked her, and pictures of her from the recent times we've been with each other. I can only imagine that we've changed so much within the two and a half years we've known each other. I remember when we had a drink with at Jamba Juice in 2007, when she visited where I worked in Irvine and just waiting with excitement to see her. I remember the late night IM conversations, and personal witty exchanges at church. I remember the story telling, and my eager ear just drawn to her voice. I remember her playing the piano in New Orleans and just being amazed...

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I remember when we had our first conversation about our relationship and the confusion it brought me. I think about all the times we've talked about God and life, how He's working with us. I remember the times shared, the funny and some odd conversations in her car, the times we laughed and sighed. I remember all the times she sung for me, and the times she's called me for "technical support." I can definitely remember the times when I would think about her and just wonder how she was. I remember the first time we swing danced together (I was so nervous). I remember the fun times, the sad times, and the quiet times. I remembered when I realized I missed her. I remember the time she embraced me and said "happy birthday," then realizing how much I just wanted to be with her...

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I love her. I'm blessed by her presence in my life, and how through those years of sincere friendship we've pointed each other to God. She's a blessing to so many people, and I know of her heart that she's so genuinely caring. I know so much that as she's a blessing here, she'll be such a blessing to the students there. When I think about her character I sometimes wonder why "she-is-the-way-that-she-is," but then, the more I get to know her family, I realize so much that with God, they've brought up such a wonderful woman of Him.

She's leaving for India soon, to teach. I'm so happy for her and just from what I can see so far in what God's doing in her in all this- He's teaching her so much. I'm excited to hear about what God's going to continue to do through her and in her, in all of this. There's so much preparation that she's been going through in the past weeks, not just physical luggage that needs to be prepared... well, in a sense, the spiritual, emotional, and mental luggage anyone brings when they're away from home. She's already growing so much and I'm so greatful to God and joyful in that.

When she leaves, I'm really looking forward to more time with God to reflect on my life, reflect on Him and just continue to grow in Him. I'm looking forward to the coming weeks in excitement for news about her time there and to be able to pray for her. I'm looking forward to adventures and time with good friends. I'm looking forward to what God reveals in my heart when she's far away from me. I'm looking forward to some time of silence with God and retreat in nature and see His glory there. I'm looking forward to learning more about how to use javascript and better serve my employer. I'm looking forward to walking with God in all this.

She and I, sitting in a tree...

I'm going to miss her, so very much, and it's okay. :-)

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